There is actually no such thing as Self-Hate

We do self-harming or self-hating things because of fear. Not because we actually hate ourselves. We do it because safety (the way we learned what was safe in childhood or through conditioning and society) is more important than growth or doing the things we actually want/desire.

A part of you is just trying to keep you safe. It’s the part of you that criticizes you, that has imposter-syndrome, the inner perfectionist, the part of you that puts everything and everybody before yourself, it’s the addiction, co-dependency, etc.

EVERYTHING in you is trying to keep you safe and alive the way we learned it from our childhood. And yes, some of those strategies do keep us stuck or are harmful to us or others. 

But it doesn’t come from a place of hate. Hate is just a cover emotion of fear. 

If we are able to see from this perspective we can see that hate in itself actually doesn’t exist. It’s fear. You don’t hate yourself. Other people don’t hate you. It’s all just fear.

And maybe...maybe we can learn to just understand the fear and have compassion for it. 

Can we have compassion for the part within us that is desperately trying to keep us safe instead of blaming and judging it?

Much love and support,

Sarah